


Harry Potter and The Not-so-giant-squid

by crying_out_loud



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27404929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crying_out_loud/pseuds/crying_out_loud
Summary: Mistake number one: Never doubt Tony Stark.That is how Harry ended with a (not so) annoying billionaire attached to his hip.Warning: Lot of cursing because I'm just like that.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tony Stark
Comments: 17
Kudos: 520





	Harry Potter and The Not-so-giant-squid

**Author's Note:**

> I made this for fun, my English is not perfect so sorry in advance. Anyone with the patience to correct me is appreciated.

Harry was tired of this shit.

Ok, he gets it; Supervillain, boom boom, the world needs saving.

After the bruises, tears and subsequent emotional trauma that was Voldemort and the war, Harry thought he was done with the hole the-boy-who-lived-TWICE for fuck sake. So yeah, he was pretty near hexing himself when Tony Stark intruded his peaceful cafe with some shit about saving the world, doing the right thing and all that stuff Dumbledore sold him when he was eleven.

He was so tired of expectations that he just took all that he thought important (photos and memories mostly) and took off to New York to start a new life. He built a little coffee shop in a nice neighbourhood and made a quite normal life around it.

He had nice muggle acquaintances that he shared opinions in books, films and nice places to travel and everything was normal and peaceful and that's all Harry needed after living a life to serve the "greater good".

He even was used to the random alien's attacks and other crazy shit that happens in New York like the rest of the locals. He was very proud of himself after going around his hero complex and stayed underground when shit got crazy (obviously helping as a healer, old habits die very fucking hard after all, but he wasn't going to complain about that).

That is until Tony Fucking Stark appeared and kind of fucked everything up.

"Stark, I don't care about saving the universe or some shit like that. In a world of overgrown green man, and people surviving decades in ice, you don't need me." He said for what felt the 4th time in the last two minutes.

"But we need all the help we can get, we need you, Potter." He heard for what was definitely the 5th time the last two minutes. "What can I do to change your mind?" 

Harry snorted. Bring back all his dead friends in the war would be a good beginning.

"Oh, bring me a verified Marcian rock and I'll think about it." 

Mistake number one: Never doubt Tony Stark.

So yeah, that's kind of how he ended with a red rock with a note saying 'Send my favourite car to mars once, here is a rock as you asked. The world needs saving Tuesday morning in the stark tower. - Yours, Iron Man'

These people are crazy. Harry James Potter never felt so terrified in his life and it wasn't the possibility of the world ending, friends and family dying or even the wizarding world discovering where he was and taking him back to Britain, it was the prospect of meeting all those lunatics soon.

Yeah, that is also how he ended in the Stark Tower on a Tuesday morning. He did give his word. In a very sarcastic way, but he did.

"Mister Potter! Came to save the world, I presume?" Fuck Tony Stark, his pretty face and a cute shit-eating grin.

"I swear to Merlin I'm about to obliviate the shit out of all of you, leave a guy alone for fuck sake!" The other avengers seemed to appear out of nowhere, observing the wizard outburst with curious eyes. The redhead woman even got some popcorn, from where no one knew.

"Well, you see, this giant squid appeared and is attacking any ship that gets nearby the coast and-" there was a loud crack and suddenly Harry wasn't there anymore. Tony, a little lost, watched the empty, turned to his team who shrugged. "Too soon?" They nodded. "Ok, a least I'm not a fro- WHAT THE- WHAT IS THIS?!"

"Didn't you want the fucking giant squid? I scrunched it, so not so giant anymore." The man just dropped the animal with a discussing flop on the ground. "Now leave me the fuck alone."

Mistake number two: Don't surprise Tony Stark, that might make him fall in love with you.

That is how the billionaire started insisting on Harry going on a date with him (and getting even more annoying because yeah, Harry actually wants to go) and a new pet at the tower, known as Alexander, The Not-so-giant-squid.

After a Yes, a date and years of a healthy relationship (with a lot of therapy evolved, it is quite annoying waking each other with nightmares) and actually accepting a place in The Avengers, Harry still calls them "a bunch of lunatics".

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea if I will write more of this. Thank you for reading anyway :)


End file.
